Entertainment

Norm Macdonald’s best jokes and quotes from ‘SNL’ and stand-up

Norm Macdonald was the funniest man I ever met. On stage and off, he had a dry supply and all the time seemed like he was simply determining the joke (or no matter he was saying) as he went alongside. Norm, who died Tuesday at 61, usually wore a leather-based jacket when he carried out, all the time smiled and made the viewers love him. He created a way of intimacy that left you feeling like he was speaking solely to you.

A testomony to the greatness of his supply: Throughout a Friars Membership roast for Bob Saget, he got here out with a hokey, outdated joke-book, learn one corny joke after the opposite, by no means veered from that and had a important viewers of comedians convulsing with laughter.

Listed here are a few of Norm’s nice jokes, which he crafted with care and delivered fantastically.


“My buddy Richie, he has the illness of alcoholism. And he got here to me … and he informed me, and I’m the sort of man that likes to have a look at the intense facet of issues. So I informed him, I mentioned, ‘Richie, it’s true that you’ve a illness and every part, however I believe you’ve acquired the most effective one.’”

“They are saying that if you happen to’re afraid of homosexuals, it implies that deep down inside you’re truly a gay your self. That worries me, as a result of I’m afraid of canines.”

“Individuals know I am going to Las Vegas lots and so they all the time ask if I noticed the white tigers on the Mirage. I say, ‘Provided that they had been sitting on the Let It Trip desk.’”

“ID is an odd abbreviation. I is brief for I, and D is brief for dentification.”

Norm Macdonald performs at The Orleans Hotel & Casino on July 9, 2011.
Norm Macdonald performs at The Orleans Resort & On line casino on July 9, 2011.
Getty Photographs

“Dali Lama mentioned that killing for faith is unthinkable. Thanks lots, Dali Lama… No one ever listens to the Dali Lama.”

‘Comedy is surprises. So if you happen to’re aspiring to make anyone giggle and so they don’t giggle, that’s humorous.’

Norm Macdonald

“The toughest drug I ever did: LSD. I used to be informed to watch out as a result of in 20 years I can have a flashback. I assumed that seemed like a great deal … However 20 years have handed with no flashback. What a gyp that turned out to be.”

“What are odds {that a} terrorist will assault and kill you? Nearly zero. However what are the chances that you can be attacked and killed by your individual coronary heart? About 100%.”

“My spouse attire up like a nurse. Then I gown up like a nurse additionally. After which, we don’t even have intercourse. We simply sit behind this enormous, semicircular picket desk and get irritated when folks buzz us for juice.”

“Comedy is surprises. So if you happen to’re aspiring to make anyone giggle and so they don’t giggle, that’s humorous.”

Norm MacDonald and Michael McKean as Adam West 'Batman' during "Weekend Update" on May 13, 1995.
Norm Macdonald and Michael McKean, as Adam West’s Batman, throughout “Weekend Replace” on Could 13, 1995.
NBCUniversal by way of Getty Photographs

“Violent folks often categorical their love of a factor by their hatred of its reverse.”

“Once I hear a man misplaced a battle to most cancers, the time period actually bothers me. It implies that he failed and that anyone else, who defeated most cancers, is heroic and brave.”

Norm Macdonald brought hilarity to the world.
Norm Macdonald introduced hilarity to the world.
Getty Photographs

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