My sibling uses drugs and has nowhere to go, but they can’t stay with me

DEAR ABBY: I’m the oldest of three. We grew up in an abusive alcoholic household. I’m thought of the “failure” of the household as a result of I don’t drink. I graduated from school, work full time, acquired married and have a fairly steady life. 

Each of my youthful siblings drink and use medication, and their lives are in fixed turmoil. The youngest sibling has talked about they might want to transfer by the top of this month and their present job has not paid them for a number of weeks. I dread that they are going to ask to remain at my home quickly, which I can’t enable due to the consuming and drug use. I do know they are going to be upset that they’ll’t stick with me. How do I defend my peace with out feeling like I’m making my sibling homeless? — BAD SISTER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BAD SISTER: Your motive for not desirous to host your substance-using sibling is wise. State it kindly and clearly and do not really feel responsible about it. You received’t be making your sibling homeless. Except your sibling is friendless, which I doubt, they are going to discover one other place to crash, I guarantee you.

DEAR ABBY: My father lately handed from most cancers. He was divorced from Mother, however she helped care for him and made him comfortable in his final 12 months of life. I’m having the infant blues (a 2- month-old) and grieving on the similar time. 

My mom has now introduced that she plans to take a trip along with her greatest pal. I believe it’s too quickly and I informed her that. Am I flawed for feeling this fashion and making an attempt to cease her from going? However on the similar time, I do know she deserves this trip. I’m so confused. Please assist. — RIGHT OR WRONG IN ARIZONA

DEAR RIGHT OR WRONG: Permit me to supply my sympathy for the lack of your dad. Contemplating the current adjustments in your life, that you simply “want” your mom is comprehensible. Nonetheless, your mom needing a break at this level can also be comprehensible, so please let her go. 

As you must know, your child blues could also be taking place due to the abrupt hormonal adjustments your physique is experiencing after the beginning of your little one. Talk about your feelings together with your physician, as a result of there could also be a medical resolution to your state of affairs. Please don’t wait.

DEAR ABBY: Please don’t suppose I’m misogynistic, however at any time when I see females, they’re CONSTANTLY speaking or scrolling on their cellphones. It looks as if it’s all they do! They don’t appear to be focused on something besides their damned [darned] telephones. They haven’t any personalities. They haven’t any intercourse drive. They’re not even focused on males! Some even appear to lose their curiosity in buying, which we all know is a feminine habit. It’s not cute. It’s not regular, and it’s not sociable. In actual fact, it’s weird and bizarre. Is there one “midway” regular feminine left on this earth, or ought to I transfer to a different planet? — READY TO BAIL IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR READY: Have you ever heard that males are from Mars? Your area shuttle departs in 20 minutes. It’s a one-way journey. Protected travels … 

P.S. I’m not calling you misogynistic, however will probably be fascinating to see what my readers name you. Keep tuned.

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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