DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been married for 40 years, and we’ve had our ups and downs. My downside is, he ceaselessly talks concerning the women he knew earlier than me. He describes all of them in glowing phrases — beautiful, good physique, lovely hair, well-endowed and on and on. It makes me really feel self-conscious and insufficient.
Add to this he’s short-tempered with me. He consistently finds fault with the way in which I do issues and speaks to me harshly. After I instructed him the way it made me really feel, his reply was that I used to be “sick within the head.” He gained’t pay attention or acknowledge that he has a component in the issue. The place do I’m going from right here? — FEELING LESS THAN
DEAR FEELING LESS: I’m glad you requested. The place you go from right here is to the workplace of a licensed psychotherapist that will help you determine why you’ve gotten tolerated being handled this manner for 40 years and provide the instruments to regain your battered shallowness.
Your short-tempered husband is not any prize. Whether or not his long-ago girlfriends might have competed for Miss Universe is inappropriate. He one way or the other wound up with “flawed” little ol’ you. You’re no extra “sick within the head” than I’m! Wrap your thoughts round that truth and acknowledge you’re married to a verbal abuser with an overactive fantasy life, and the higher off you may be.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve recognized my buddy “Aaron” since first grade. Our relationship hasn’t been the identical since COVID broke out. He rarely connects with me until it’s on social media. He refuses to get along with anybody or depart his home.
Issues haven’t been straightforward for him as a result of he lives alone. He used to dwell along with his brother, however since his brother’s demise a number of years in the past, Aaron hasn’t been the identical. I’m upset with him as a result of as an alternative of telling me, he instructed my finest buddy about his brother’s demise. Once we mentioned attempting to get collectively once more, he initially stated he wished to attend till the stay-at-home order was lifted. When that lastly occurred, he introduced he didn’t wish to get collectively till COVID had died down and it was thought-about protected.
Abby, I really feel damage and betrayed. I perceive Aaron’s issues about COVID and the dangers concerned, however I don’t like being lied to. I really feel he deceived me by telling me one factor however actually which means one other. I feel he ought to have been upfront and trustworthy with me from the beginning.
I worth our friendship, so I’m not prepared to throw it away simply but. Aaron is now not speaking to me, and our relationship is ruined. Am I incorrect to really feel this manner? I’m uncertain about what steps to take subsequent. — HURT GUY IN MICHIGAN
DEAR HURT GUY: You didn’t point out whether or not Aaron is socializing once more with others. It’s doable that since his brother’s passing he has realized how fragile and unpredictable life might be, and is taking each precaution. I feel it might be more healthy for you in case you cease obsessing about him and start forming different friendships. If Aaron is now not speaking to you, the “steps” you need to take are in the wrong way.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.