DEAR ABBY: I went to varsity in France. It was my lifelong dream to maneuver right here and begin my very own life on this stunning nation. I succeeded. I married and had a baby, however the marriage didn’t work out. My son, who’s now 8, has spent his entire life right here. He suits in. He’s well-liked. Nonetheless, as a single working mom in a international land, I don’t.
I’ve mastered the French language. I can have an mental dialog in French, and I even make jokes in French. I perceive it’s a distinct tradition. I’ve had many alternative roles as a bilingual assistant in varied sectors, akin to actual property, digital transformation, structure and inside design.
I rely myself blessed to all the time be capable of discover work, however the ladies right here simply don’t like me. I’m blond and put on make-up, and my presence appears to threaten and anger them regardless of the place I am going. There are all the time one or two good colleagues, however there may be additionally a mass vibe of hostility. I can’t go away as a result of I can’t take my son away from his father. Recommendation? — LEFT OUT IN PARIS
DEAR LEFT OUT: Please permit me to supply my sympathy. What you’re experiencing is hurtful. But it surely occurs in all places, not simply in Paris.
You wrote that wherever you’re working, there are all the time one or two good colleagues. Consider them and the work you’re assigned to do and, though it will not be simple, ignore the rudeness of the others. You aren’t there to socialize. Since you really feel iced out socially, attempt to join with different expatriates who’re in all probability feeling the way in which you do. It’s extra productive than licking your wounds alone.
Sooner or later, your son shall be sufficiently old to be on his personal, and also you could possibly relocate to part of France (or Europe) the place the individuals are heat and welcoming. Maintain your contacts shut again dwelling, since you could possibly relocate to the States if you want. Within the meantime, keep occupied. Should you do, it will provide you with much less time to be depressed.
DEAR ABBY: When attending a marriage, do you suppose it’s impolite for the friends to publish images of the bride and groom on social media asserting the brand new couple earlier than the couple have an opportunity to publish? It might be like another person asserting the start of your child. I believe the couple needs to be the primary to publish any images of themselves and announce their marriage. What do you suppose? — PROPER IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR PROPER: I believe you’re appropriate. Nonetheless, so many individuals publish in regards to the actions by which they take part, it isn’t stunning that friends would enthusiastically share their pleasure by placing these photos on-line. If the bride and groom need to hold it from taking place, they need to specify that they need no images taken through the marriage ceremony or the reception (after which cross their fingers). Company who plan to take photos ought to make sure you ask the couple earlier than posting them.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.